Parenting is a Skill, Not Just Instinct

I used to think parenting would come naturally. I assumed I’d just know what to do because… well, that’s what everyone said. “You’ll figure it out.” “It’ll come instinctively.” “You’re a mom, you’ll just know.”

But I didn’t.

Sure, some things clicked. But most things? I’ve learned them the hard way: through books, long walks, tearful talks with friends, deep breaths, trial and error, and some deeply humbling moments.

Parenting is not just instinct. It’s a skill. And it’s one I’m still learning.

As we step into summer, a season that can feel equal parts magical and chaotic. I’m reminded how much parenting really is a learned practice. School routines fade, structure loosens, and suddenly, I’m navigating new versions of my kids (and myself). The days are longer. The noise is louder. The expectations, ours and theirs, shift.

If you’re feeling a little unsure already, I want you to hear this➡️

You’re not behind. You’re not failing. You’re growing.

This summer, I’m leaning into the idea that parenting isn’t something we should just know how to do. It’s something we practice. That mindset shift has helped me stay grounded (well, most days).

Here’s what I’m trying this season:

🌿 Choosing a simple summer intention

Instead of trying to “do it all,” I’m asking: How do I want this summer to feel? For me, it’s connected and calm. That one guiding feeling helps me say yes to the right things, and no to what doesn’t fit.

🗓 Previewing tricky moments

Transitions are hard for everyone. I’ve found it really helps to talk things through with my kids before we’re in the moment. “When it’s time to leave the splash pad, I’ll give you a 5-minute heads-up. What could help make that easier?” It doesn’t always work perfectly, but it helps.

⏸ Building in breaks—for them and for me

We all need downtime, and I’m learning that quiet time is not “lazy”, it’s essential. We’ve set up a little “cool-down corner” with pillows, books, and fidget toys. Sometimes they use it. Sometimes I do.

🧘‍♀️ Regulating myself (and giving myself grace when I can’t)

I’m not always calm. But I’m working on coming back to calm sooner. When I mess up, I apologize. When I do well, I notice. That’s progress.

🤝 Asking for help

This is a big one. I used to feel guilty for needing support. Now, I see it differently. Asking for help is modeling self-awareness and community care. Whether it’s texting a friend or booking a babysitter, I remind myself: this is part of the skill set too.

So if this summer feels messy or if you’re questioning whether you’re doing it right, know this:

You’re not alone. You’re not failing. You’re parenting with skill.

One moment, one meltdown, one breakthrough at a time.

Let’s Reflect: What’s a parenting skill you’ve had to learn (maybe one you’re still learning)? I’d love to hear from you—drop a comment or send me a message.

Let’s keep learning together.

—Kristi